Life Gaiden

Let's assume that, at this point, I'm just really, really not going to stick to the schedule which I had set myself for these posts.

Yesterday, I had a pretty horrible day, with pain, with raging fever and with my whole body turning into one big rash.

However, I still managed to read the newest Bleach chapter, and this page made my day:



Because I would recognise that elbow anywhere.

Now, I'll admit, I've always had mixed feelings about the possibility that Grimmjow might return. On the one hand, I hated the fact that Tite Kubo had left it tantalisingly uncertain as to whether the Sexta Espada had actually copped it from Nnoitra's blow. Dangling threads are, indeed, one of the main things that annoy me about Bleach, not just because they are left for interminable amounts of time before being addressed, but also because most of them could do with not having been planted in the first place. Part of the reason why I like Fairy Tail so much is that it is a master class at swerving all the problems with pacing which Blecah falls into like a champ. But, it's this annoyance more than anything else that made me hope that we would one day find out Grimmjow's ultimate fate.

But then, I got to thinking about the logistics of the thing, and I couldn't figure out how or why there would be a reason to return to the arrancar after Aizen's defeat ... which shows my lack of imagination. I would never have thought up the idea of shinigami and arrancar sharing an enemy.

By this chapter, though, I was expecting this revelation and looking forward to it. I mean, if we'd already been shown that the Tres Bestia, Loly Aivirrne and Tier Harribel were still alive, when they had looked pretty dead last time we saw them, it was a bit of a given that Grimmjow would also return. (Oh, while I'm mentioning Tier Harribel, I have to register my outrage at the torture-porn-style full page picture she was given in Chpter 485. It's seriously disgusting.) Though, by now, Bleach is beginning to remind me of a short reading exercise-type piece I once came across, when I was about eight-years-old. I think it was Victorian. Anyway, it was called 'The Chinese Theatre', and it described it as customary in China for actors playing characters who had died to get up and walk off as soon as attention was diverted from them by the action on stage. I can just imagine Sun Sun, Mila Rose and Apache sidling off back to Hueco Mundo while we were all distracted watching Ichigo fight Gin or Aizen.

And I suppose it was simplistic of me to assume that the end of Aizen's part in the story would also be the end of the arrancar. Part of what had always made the arrancar so interesting was the fact that none of them ever seemed to act out of a sense of unified ideology. Each one was a law unto themselves, with only Aizen's powerful influence keeping them in check. And, I suppose it would be a massive dangling plot thread to not show us how the arrancar act without Aizen's influence. Therefore, it makes it not only possible, but even likely that, under the right circumstances a truce could be made between shinigami and arrancar - even though the operative phrase there is 'under the right circumstances'. This is with Grimmjow being a different kettle of chips to say, Renji.

But, I'm optimistic about this development overall - especially if it means I can see my favourite character again. And do I care that this was probably done only for fan-service? Of course not! My fandom now knows no shame! Who am I kidding? I missed that character and Heaven knows I’m looking forward to this. I can’t wait to see his happy little face as he attacks Quincies. Kinda reminds me of this video actually, something else which makes my day every time I look it up …

I’ll admit, I don’t think the Fullbringers ever stood a chance of my liking them. They struck me as a little … bland? A little tacked-on and rushed? Of course, this was because, after the final showdown with Aizen at first I felt like Tite Kubo would not be able to do anything right unless he stopped. The way I saw it, any villain whom the mangaka could possibly create from this point onwards would have the feel of one from an anime filler arc, i.e. they’d be visually quite uninteresting and we’d be left wondering how in the heck this had gone completely unmentioned before.

And, at first I took Tsukishima to be the perfect example of this. I mean, seriously, look at his face, with its blank eyes:



It was almost as if he were a parody of my vision. The rest of the fullbringers, I also felt lukewarm about. Though, the more I thought about it, the more I wondered if I was being unfair. The Vizards had sort of been treated similarly, in that they were an aesthetic mish-mash of misfits about whom we learn very little for a while, except for certain personality quirks, like Hiyori’s hot-headedness and Shinji’s casual affect, and who serve a purpose in getting Ichigo from plot point A to plot point B.

But then, I thought harder again: there were several differences between the fullbringers and the vizards that made me like the former group immensely, other than their position relative Aizen. I’ll do a list:

1. Their powers have been strongly implied before they even show up – We’ve already had Ichigo’s hollow mask pop up time and again before he or we understand what it is. We’ve had confirmation from Aizen that, not only is a blend of shinigami and hollow possible, but he has done research into the field himself. We know this from Kaien’s story. By contrast, the only hint we have of the fullbringers’ powers before they arrive on the scene is Chad and the way that his power is somehow similar to that of a hollow. I suppose, if nothing else, they put to bed the weird theories about whether Chad was half-arrancar or something.
2. The backstory that we are eventually given for them is just better – But, to return to the idea of Aizen’s involvement with the vizard’s formation, not only did this link them more strongly, as I have already said, to the over-arcing story-so-far, but it helped with their characterisation. It meant that we got the ‘Turn Back the Pendulum’ mini-arc, which was full of richly and subtly characterising interactions. And, then, the fact that these guys were once part of the Gotei 13 spoke volumes in itself. Because, by this point, the reader has absorbed the idea that there are a few inherent characteristics of a full-fledged shinigami, in that they have to have, at some point, made a conscious decision to become a shinigami and have been part of the academy and have had a history as part of the divisions, forming relationships and reputations for themselves. Those details don’t even need filling in, necessarily. We can just happily assume they exist. The fullbringers, on the other hand, don’t get this luxury. Their backstories have to be fed to us as flashbacks.
3. Their characterisation is more organic somehow – That leads me onto my next point, which is that, while the individual stories are all really interesting insights into characters whom we don’t well understand (Yukio was my favourite), there’s just too damn many of them. The fact that we could assume many things about the vizards just due to their shinigami background meant that this wasn’t a problem for them. I also felt, though, that the story reasons, so far as I could discern them, why the vizards were a group were somehow more engaging. They were a group, it seemed primarily to me, to give a sense of a rich and detailed universe, through their interactions with one another. The mangaka seemed to be trying something similar with the fullbringers but came up a little short to me. The others seemed to exist in order prove that Ginjou, Chad and Tsukishima’s powers weren’t too statistically rare.

But, enough of this negativity. I want to finish by mentioning what I did like about this arc, and it boils down to little moments. Such as when Byakuya (shock, horror) actually admits to having enjoyed an adrenaline kick from his fight with Tsukishima. Or when Kyouraku and Ukitake consider the great wisdom Ichigo has shown in his choice to stay allied to the shinigami, despite their not being entirely trustworthy. I quite liked this part in particular, as it elevated what could have been the mere plastering-over of a plot hole (namely, that, while the Seireitei freaked the hell out that Rukia had conferred powers on a substitute shinigami, they apparently already had the position available) into something profound.


Actually, I think I’ll save most of my thoughts on that particular part for one of my themed posts later in the week …

Wow! Not blogged in a while … This is, of course, because of my having been (and still being) in hospital undergoing surgery. But, I will say there has definitely been one upside to all that downtime: I have caught up on all my Bleach manga! I had sort of lost interest in the series and stopped reading around Chapter 443 (‘Dirty Boots Dangers’), and I’ll put my hands up and say that it was a mixture of duty, nostalgia and boredom which brought me back, rather than anticipation or curiosity.

But, as I read, while I wouldn’t say it was like the glory days, I really enjoyed it and found myself interested and inspired by what I was reading. I had once more become truly engaged with Bleach. To more accurately describe the feeling, it was like when the heady hormonal high of a really good new relationship has worn off to be replaced by a sense of warm and comfortable companionship. It made me glad that I’d taken a break from Bleach for all that time.

So, to business, as I said, I was inspired by my reading, and therefore have decided to post one blog about Bleach every day for the next week. This might work or it might not. I mean, there’s a chance I might be going into surgery again next Saturday, and a chance that I may temporarily lose the use of my right hand (already not allowed to use my left) the day after tomorrow, which will make typing … difficult.

Anyway, let’s see how we go. I’ve split my blogs into these categories: two looks at specific plot events and two at specific chapters, one return to a favourite theme and one look at a theme which has interested me for a while. And finally, a strange comparison…

But, before I get into the blogging proper I just have to comment upon the title of chapter 517 with a massive guffaw and the link to this video:

That not-quite expletive in the title of this post is my somewhat inadequate attempt to phonetically show the sounds I made when I saw my list of subscribed threads on Bleachanime.org forums today. Believe me, I do swear and curse without compunction, it's just that my brain couldn't cope with that level of stress and so, sort of, broke when it saw that web page and wouldn't make words. I had to reply to the Aesir HQ, post my ranking recommendations and continue training Adam, our newest recruit. And I am so bloody stressed! Because I'm back at university and have soooooo many meetings and lectures to go to already and I have been given two deadlines in two days. Blaaaaaaaaarrrrrgh! And, even though, I know that deadlines are infinitely more important than roleplay clans (or even blogs), and that everyone on the forum would be more than understanding if I took time off, I still feel like I need to fulfil my commitments.

Anyway, it's not even as if I'm under that much pressure, really. I've made sure of that. I'm not about make myself ill. It's just that, every so often, I have these irrational little moments where I think I'm failing at life.

But, happy thoughts, happy thoughts ... Let's talk about Adam, my pupil. It felt ace calling him that, and when he called me “sensei”, I wondered if I should grow a beard ... Not to boast, or anything, though, but I've found that being an RP mentor comes strangely naturally to me, even if I am a little nit-picky with some of my points, like insisting that he double-check posts and watch his paragraphs. And I can’t for the life of me explain how to embed links to him. (Basically, my attempt went something along the lines of “Do you see those buttons at the top of your post box? Hover over each one until you find the one that says ‘embed link’, because I can’t explain what that icon is supposed to look like.) I wonder if both of these facts – my utter inability to explain HTML (“It just is!”) and my ability to deconstruct RP were because I had never RPed before when I came to the forum and so had to pick everything up through observing others and through trial and error. Though, I would also say that it helps that Adam is a great RPer and student and picks things up exceedingly quickly.

Actually, that's one thing that I like about the dynamic of recruit training on BA. They actually consist of two parallel trainings: one where the member picks up tips on writing and one where their character also learns tips, but on how to fight. Idk, maybe it's because I'm a lit student that that quasi-symbolic mechanism interests me so much.

UPDATE: I'm off the hook with Aesir for a little while because some of the other members (Fuer and Avarice) have no internet right now. Phew!

This is a little bit random as one of my fandom posts, because I can pretty much guarantee that it will be less review-like in nature and, more like one of my Bleach-related posts, actually arose from a really, really nice experience in my RL. So, without further ado, I'll go into the story:

I'm getting better (finally) after my long period of illness this summer and so I'm getting ready to return to university. Part of this was going through my books, which, on account of the state of my house had all been crammed into two cardboard boxes. So, some of my uni books were all jumbled up together with ... everything else. And that 'everything else' was some lovely and mixed stuff. Like there was '20,000 Leagues Under the Sea', which was one of my favourite books as a kid. Then, there were books like 'The Diary of Pelly D', which have very strong memories attached to them. But, I also found my Hellsing volumes, and had a delightful half hour getting distracted by reading them instead of packing.

For people who might be reading this who might not know what it is, Hellsing is basically a manga 'Dracula' fanfic in which the Lord of the Night, instead of dying at the end of Bram Stoker's novel. But, in the Hellsing manga, instead of being doubly dead, Dracula fights Nazis.

(Oh, btw, one of the trippiest things about this series is that 'Dracula' the novel still exists in the story's universe - it is actually mentioned by one of the manga's characters, who is the direct descendant of Abraham van Helsing. Although, I guess, that the epistollary form of the original text makes this sort of allowable.)

Now, it should be a sign of how good Hellsing is that it overrides my general, well, distaste of anything with Nazis as bad guys. You see, I really hate stories with Nazi bad guys, because, for one thing, the writer often thinks that their being Nazis is a perfectly good excuse to not give their villain a coherent or human motivation. They can just jackboot an army and clock-off for lunch. Because the basic idea is 'Nazis are just naturally bad people who do bad shit.' It’s just, I suppose, that I’m not comfortable with the suggestion that ‘some people are just inherently evil.’ Because, most humans are not like that, and, while fictional Nazis are just tokens used to denote an idea, I dislike their being used in this way as they have actual human, historical counterparts, and thus descendants. We ignore that fact at our peril.

But, Khota Hirano gets away with using Nazis in my eyes, partly for the reason that his Nazis are not historical figures, are, for the most part, not human (vampires, werewolves and one android) and, even though the whole, almost exploitation-movie style of the enterprise was the perfect example not to, he still gives them motivations, which are still recognisable, if exaggerated.

Indeed, I'll go right ahead and say that even though the whole enterprise is totally mental - I mean, Nazis sacking London in a fiery vampire apocalypse - it has some of the best speeches and quotes of any manga I have come across. I mean, get this short speech by Alucard:

“We ruin the countries we govern and the people in our care. We slaughter our enemies and sacrifice all our allies. We’ll keep killing until there’s nothing left but to destroy ourselves. It will never be enough, we’re incorrigible warmongers, aren’t we Major?”

How high-brow does that sound? Especially as it’s delivered by Alucard as looks wistfully up at the moon. Then, there is, of course, the quote which is one of the reasons why this manga is so close to my heart: Giving up is what kills people. It's only when a person refuses to give up no matter what they earn the right of walking down humanity's noble pathway. Well, it's this moral philosophy that makes it close to my heart.

Indeed, I would say that it is this consistent moral compass at the heart of Hellsing which allows it to flit so easily between wackiness and very disturbing violence in a way that another manga which I have mentioned - Black Butler - utterly fails at. Well, that and the fact that it acknowledges its own silliness, a practice which my good friend, Robert, tells me is called 'lampshade hanging'? This can certainly be seen in the series' way of portraying its characters of other nationalities: the English drink tea and there is a bona fide English butler in a story set in the present day, the Frenchman Vernedead's last big speech includes a rant against fish and chips and Father Anderson's Scottish accent is so pronounced, I'm pretty sure that no actual human being could physically speak like that.

But, throughout the series, we get this sense that we are to judge characters, not by their goodness, but by their stoicism, and it is this which gave me a sense when reading that this was something worthwhile and not just the pulp fiction it seemed.

Although, I would say it is this consistency which makes the ending of the whole series a bit of a kick in the balls. Yeah, the final chapter just descends into a lighthearted romp into fan service, with Integra Hellsing fighting a friendly fencing match with Maxwell and Alucard coming back to un-life, after having been tricked to his third(?) death in the penultimate chapter. It’s hard for me to convey to people what an intellectual come-down this was for the series. I mean, there's even a possible allusion to Irish history in the series in the name of Captain Vernedead's French mercenary troupe, the Wild Geese. Then, there is the fact that one of the Nazis listens to and sings along to part of Weber's 'Der Freschutz'. (And, you can bet your bottom dollar that that is why I like that opera so much - as well as, like, its being good...)

But, overall, when I found my Hellsing books in those cardboard boxes and flicked through them, it was with a sense of unambiguous joy, not just at the ludicrousness of the thing, but also thinking about its moral philosophy. I realised that its emphasis on stoicism had affected my own views in a big way. This was especially as I was going through another period of serious illness when I first came across these books, and the phrase, 'giving up is what kills people', resonated with me. I found it strangely poignant when I was flicking through the first volume that the song 'Tokyo (Vampires and Wolves)' by The Wombats was playing on my iPod (and also is now), because when I was looking at those pages and heard the lyric, the demons from my past leave me in peace I suddenly realised that they probably never would. That is, at least, these demons would not.

I know that this is really soon after the last one, but, well, we've just had monthly rankings and I found them an interesting study of the political way that the Bleachanime RP divisions work. You see, yes, it is done for the fun of it, and the system of seats is primarily there to ensure the smooth running of the divisions, with the most active members and best writers taking up the highest seats, but that doesn't mean that higher seats aren't coveted.

To explain: the divisions have ranks for seated officers between 15 (it used to be 20) and 3, with the most powerful being the lowest number. Then, above them there's the fukutaichou and taichou and below there's the recruits. Every month, division members will rank each other's performance by filling in a form in the ranking recommendation thread. (No, seriously, there is paperwork involved in this pursuit.) Then, on the 1st of every month the captain and vice-captain will write their own assessments and make decisions on what everyone's new seats should be.

That's the standard format, but, this month, a few things happened that particularly piqued my interest. I mean, there were things which interested me particularly, such as the fact that I got a three-seat promo, but in other news:

1) The loss of two recruits - Actually, this isn't that weird: a recruit or even a seated officer who has a zero post-count will get booted out of a division if they don't give a good reason. What interested me here was one of the recruits in particular. The name they used was Silver NightHowl, and I'd been suspicious of them from the moment they joined. I don't want to seem cruel and/or paranoid, but her reply to all of our welcome posts rang a little hollow, shall we say?:

Hey, I'm Silver Nighthowl. I'm a female aged 16, I love bleach and Okami more than anything! I love to RP and make new friends. It's so great to be in my favorite squad, I look forward to making everlasting friendships in this squad. <3

Then, in her application to join, she completely misunderstood the exercise and wrote about her character's strengths, not her own, citing the fact that she could use shunpo and wielded two zanpaktou. The latter is an easy mistake to make. It's just that that previously mentioned reply, kinda creeped me out. Idk, maybe it’s too much watching the news got me worried about internet predators. Maybe it wasn't a fake account, and maybe Silver was just a 16-yr-old girl who got bored with BA.

2) Sasuke's resignation + three 8th seats - Well, there's two things here, and I'll start with the first chronologically: before one of our members, Sasuke, resigned, we had three 8th seats in the division. Now, doubling of seats is pretty common, especially since the division capacity was reduced from 20 to 15. It sometimes means that someone who's had a tough month can keep their seat and someone who has shown promise can be rewarded, and it stops the ranking board from becoming one of those sliding tile puzzles. But, wow, a month where three people held the same seat was pretty unprecedented. What happened was that the two current 9th-seats had had low-activity months, but still gained a small promotion, whereas the 10th seat (Sasuke) had been an absolute boss with his activity and so gained a good two-seat promotion. Sometimes, things just work out like that, I guess.

But, as to Sasuke's leaving, this is another reality of a BA division, which sort of makes it different to divisions in the anime/manga: we have a turnaround of members measured in months not years. Sometimes RL (that's the BA abbreviation for Real Life, in case that's been confusing before) will make continuing posting unfeasible. For example, I left for a while in the past due to work commitments. Sometimes, a member might move on to the BARPG (read: the big time). Our Captain recently left the division for this reason. And, sometimes, people will just get tired, either of BA in general or a certain division. I think, for Sasuke, it was a bit of both. He stated his intention to have a bit of a break from BA, but also to join the Vizard division somewhere down the line. I’ll miss having him around in the meantime, though. I’ve known him pretty much since joining the forum about two years ago and it’ll be weird to not share a division with him.

It’s funny, though, now that I think about it: BA absences seem to come in seasons. Back-to-school months are usually slow months, as are exam times, and I just take them as a fact of life. But, I can remember back when I was in the 3rd division, the first person I ever knew leave a division. I was really scandalised. To me, the place was wonderful! And why would anyone leave?! I couldn’t understand why other people weren’t surprised.

3) The fight for 3rd - Back on topic: moar rankings drama! Yes, in last month's recommendations there was a bit of a tussle for 3rd seat. Well, I wouldn't really call it that this month. I think that will really get going next month, but, for once in my life, I really put my cards on the table very hard with rankings and put forward our 6th seat - who has now been promoted to 5th - skipping the 4th seat. I felt a little cruel for doing this: as Mitsu, the vice stated in her assessments, while Will had shown insane organisational ability (a necessity in such a high seat) this month, forming the Aesir (more on that next time ...), Ari was one of those who had stood by the division through the dark times, and, in many ways, her writing displayed as much talent as Will's. But, this is one of the dilemmas of ranking, especially at the higher level: loyalty must always be rewarded, but so must effort and skill. Once at the high level, everyone is exceptional, so it's really hard to decide between them. I mean, I was honest, and it was hard for me, as I consider Ari a friend, but if it was bad for me, what's it going to be like for Mitsu next month? She did say in this month's assessments that now that it's been brought up, she's going to base her decision of who gets the seat on this month's performance. I can't wait!

It seems that my little art projects have ground to a juddering halt of late. This is partially due to my trying to sort certain technical difficulties, such as changing certain poses and trying really hard but failing to draw this one guy's hair (very long and very curly - really difficult). Though, I'd say the biggest reason has to be just that I am too ill at present. Sad times.

I just spent the day yesterday catching up on my Fairy Tail manga, so I felt that now would be an apt time to blog my feelings about this manga. But, just a heads-up, by the time I'd caught up on my reading yesterday, my plans for this post were not as positive as I thought they would be, but I'll get to that later. I'd like to start with the happy things.

Fairy Tail is, in my opinion, one of the best manga out there. I love its lightness of tone, with many of the jokes being peculiar, but spot-on for the creation of the manga's world. Then, I like the way that the lighter parts seem to serve in support of the manga's overall positive and pro-social values, such as camaraderie.

But, even without the content, I would have to say that the structuring of the Fairy Tail manga is absolutely superb: each member of the titular guild has their own story thread. But, while individual threads do sometimes form the basis for specific fights (such as Elfman vs. Sol and his guilt over the death of his sister) or specific story arcs (such as Erza's childhood as a slave and her relationship with Jellal), they're never out of the frame long enough to frustrate an interested reader, nor do they intrude upon each other.

This links, though, to the characterisation, which is another of Fairy Tail's triumphs. Part of the reason why the characters don't just disappear when their plot lines are not the focus is because they are interesting people in their own right. They have more to them than their history. Their relationships with each other are an important part of this - not just those pro-social guild bonds, but more specific ones, such as the troubled Grandfather-Grandson relationship between Makarov and Laxus, and the adorable romances between Levy and Gajeel and Elfman and Evergreen.

However, it's this way that I get to my main criticism of Fairy Tail, and that is the way that the manga treats its women. Up front, I'll say that many of the women in Fairy Tail are great as characters, and are both bad-asses and well-rounded individuals. Erza is definitely my favourite female manga character. No, it's not so much the way that they're characterised, as the way that they're drawn. Look, I didn't mind so much things such as Erza's Playboy bunny armour, as that was played for laughs, and even added to the character, and things like that were few and far between. But, in the most recent arc, the mangaka just seems to take every possible opportunity to get female characters barely clothed or actually naked on panel and to have it commented upon by an audience and commentators within the manga, as the current arc consists of an inter-guild tournament, and various plots intertwined with it. Ok, I'll list some of the examples:

1) Lucy's clothes being almost blasted off by the power of her attack, while Gemini has Lucy's appearance in a bath towel. While this sort of thing is often par for the course (Yoruichi's sleeves are blown off by the power of her shunko) I found it a bit overly erotic here - especially with all the cleavage and hair bondage on show in this fight. (You can see the particular page I took issue with here: http://www.mangareader.net/fairy-tail/272/14 )

2) Then, there's the comic relief eye candy. However, unlike Erza's Playboy bunny outfit, this one was played a lot more for audience titillation than laughs. It takes the form of a swimsuit contest between two former models, who are also mages - Jenny Realight of Blue Pegasus guild and Fairy Tail's Mirajane. They seriously choose to do this instead of do battle. It is actually page after page of these guys posing, inter-cut with panels of the audience's drooling reaction. That is until the final round in which they show their battle forms, and Mirajane uses hers to sucker punch Jenny and thus win. I can see the joke, but it didn't stop most of the episode being uncomfortable for me as a female reader.

3) Yukino Aguria, a member of the Sabertooth guild, as a punishment for losing a fight to the death, but surviving, is forced to strip naked in front of her guild mates and erase her own guild tattoo. Oh, the abuse doesn't stop there: Flare Corona, from the Raven Tail guild, is beaten up for almost losing to Fairy Tail's Lucy. I know that the point of this was to help characterise the villains, but, seriously, there's ways to do that other than the humiliation of women.

4) I've left my most egregious example until last, however, and that is the portrayal of Shelia and Wendy, who, for those who don't know, can't be older than nine or ten years old. I don't just mean during their fights, but during the swimming pool trip filler story. In the former, the commentator points out how cute the two are, while he and members of the audience make that face with love hearts in their eyes, and in the latter, the two are in bikinis like the other female members of the division, but they do so with bikini bodies that girls their age shouldn't have! It's not quite paedophilia, but it's uncomfortably close to it for me.

Like I said, this has ended up being way, way more negative than I wanted it to be (I wanted it to be 1000 words of how awesome Erza is, and why she's a great character - seriously), but, don't blame me. Blame Hiro Mashima for ruining it.

Again, this is one of those ideas which took a while to mature into a full post, although, unlike part 1, it took quite a bit longer than a week. For, I've been mulling over some of these ideas for months. For, while last time I was talking about the feeling that the experience of Bleach itself immediately gives me, here I wanted to talk about it in the wider context of my life, and, as such needed to bank up some examples. Luckily, I have some really good ones now, so, without further ado, I'm going to talk about the joy of Bleach in my life at large.

I suppose the best thing I can start by talking about is the way that I've used Bleach to consciously contextualise my experiences since I started watching/reading it, and the easiest way to do that would be for me to just launch into my examples.

The first, and possibly most hyperbolic is the way that I use Bleach to contextualise my quidditch playing. But, I think I can be excused a little hyperbole, considering the way that sports are often advertised. What comes to mind are adverts for sportswear and even certain trailers for the Olympics. I mean, they seriously had one with Led Zeppelin's 'Immigrant Song'. Now, if applying the lyric, 'Valhalla I'm coming', to a sport is not wonderfully hyperbolic, then I don't know what is. Now, like I said, I don't mind this glorifying of sport so long as there is a certain amount of self-awareness, that's part of what makes it fun, and part of the reason why I even do it myself. So, yes, I will often see my quidditch games as being like Bleach battles. I even adapted a bit of Bleach into a quidditch motto ('If I dodge I won't let them tackle/beat me. If I protect someone I won't let them be tackled. If I attack I will tackle them!'). It didn't really catch on, I'm afraid, but it's fitting.

The best example of this, though, was after the IQA Summer Games. This was an international tournament, and I was a beater on the UK team. We lost every match, which was fine and to be expected, considering our relative lack of training and experience compared to everyone else. It was just that I felt that I, personally, had not played to the best of my ability. The reason was, it seemed, that I just lost my nerve. Normally, I am a bit of a Berserker when it comes to quidditch, and woe betide anyone who gets in the way of my bludger or me. But, somehow, I just started to feel afraid of tackling - a new experience - and I felt like I'd let my team and myself down. So, afterwards, to spur myself on to further training, I found and wrote down in my diary two speeches from Bleach, used to make someone pick themselves up after defeat. The first was Rukia's speech to Ichigo, trying to get him out of his funk after failing to fight Ulquiorra:

Are you afraid of losing? Are you afraid of being unable to protect your friends!? ... If you are afraid of losing, become more powerful.

The second came from Kenpachi's speech to Ikkaku and is, overall, more fitting, if more hyperbolic:

If you like fighting, then quit bitching about not being killed! Don't just accept defeat and beg for death! ... If you lose without dying, it means luck was on your side. When that happens, focus on surviving ... Survive and kill the person who couldn't kill you! ... Live! Live, and come try to kill me again.

Of course, I could only apply these so far to my situation - that is the nature of metaphor, after all - but I found them inspiring and apt, nonetheless.

But, aside from all this sporty talk, Bleach has had metaphorical application in my life in other instances, with one being quite recent - about 11 days ago, actually. Then, I had to go down for a surgery, and, ever since I was 14 and had an operation then, I've always felt anxious about the loss of control which anaesthetic brings. But, this time, I had just been reading Bleach volume 23 - the one in which Ichigo fights his inner hollow, and, as soon as I started thinking of going under with anaesthetic as being like when Shinji knocks out Ichigo, except I got wheeled before I was asleep:



Seriously, when they put the oxygen mask on, all I could think of was Shinji saying, 'Don't let it consume you. You consume it.' I didn't feel any of my usual anxiety because of that.

So, while it might be said that I use Bleach as a way to escape my reality, I'd say that it's far more accurate to say that I use Bleach to augment my reality.

But, indeed, I didn't realise the extent to which this was true until I tried to give it up. Well, I actually did give it up, with very little trouble actually. It wasn't as if it was an addiction or anything that I had to knock. I felt no loss really when I exorcised it from my life. When I returned to it, however, and started re-watching the anime from episode one, I suddenly realised what a huge part of my personality I had cast off. I realised that Bleach was one of those things which had infiltrated my dreams and lifestyle choices in subtle and almost imperceptible ways, that the examples which I have used above aren't really that good for illustrating. It was a strange moment, watching that episode. It felt like coming home to myself. Then, to cap the joy of the moment, I spent the rest of the evening watching Bleach instead of working and still managed to turn in my best ever essay in about three hours the next day. I really think that the psychological release that watching Bleach gave me there helped me to work. It was just great to accept that while my watching Bleach might be seen by some as immature (part of the reason I had given it up), it was a part of me, and by accepting that immature aspect of myself, I felt like I grew as a human being, and became a happier, more balanced individual.

I thought I should do a little BA update here, considering that I've just finished my first spar of this 'incarnation' (read as: return to the RPing circles).

For those who don't know, basically the spars in BA RP are text-based, turn-based combat: one person attacks, then the other person writes of the result of that attack and their reaction (you can't write about or bank on the outcome of your own attack). Then, the counter-attack is written. This continues, either within set parameters (usually used for tournaments), or until both participants' characters are too injured to continue.

It seems really weird when I write it down like that, and not that interesting.

But, it is interesting to me, both from a creative and mechanical perspective, and the two can even be combined. The creative fun can come from creating an environment, creative attacks and character development. The latter is difficult, but rewarding. I mean, one way to do this is by just saying something like, 'environment X reminded so-and-so of spar Y', but that isn't really fun, unless it really means something. The real fun character stuff in a spar usually comes from how you think your character would actually react to an attack - whether, for example, they keep their cool when things go badly.

Which sort of takes me to the mechanics, because, one of the most rewarding things about an RP spar is being able to use the physics and rules of the game-world - here, the various settings of Bleach - to your advantage in new and interesting ways, not explicitly explored by the manga/anime. One particularly cool example of this that I remember was during a kidou training, in which the teacher, focused his reiatsu in order to keep a Soukatsui hadou small in the palm of his hand, instead of blasting it off, and then used the hadou, Tenran, to turn it into a flaming tornado. It's especially fun to use the environment at times - setting fire to things to make a smokescreen or swinging from rafters.

But, as for my recent spar, I was using a pre-made arena with set debuffs - not my usual choice - so, while that was an interesting change, it didn't allow me as much of the creative fun that I get with spars. I also didn't really get to mess with physics, as I really wanted to try out my shikai for the first time. However, I had a lot of fun at times in that spar, and that was mainly due to character moments, especially in how she dealt with an absolutely unavoidable attack. I found it natural that my character's general response was the go ape-shit to compensate.

But, yeah, still hoping that the upcoming Kuroshitsuji cross-over event's going to be good.